❝Hello, everyone, my name is Elle Woods and I’m here to speak to you today about a piece of legislation called Bruiser’s Bill. But you know, today is supposed to be about education, so instead, I want to tell you about the education you all have given me over the past three months. I came to Washington to help my dog, Bruiser, and somewhere along the way, I learned a really unexpected lesson. I know what you’re thinking — who is this girl? And what could this simple, small-town girl from Bel Air have to say to all of us? I’ll tell you. It’s about something that’s bigger than me or any single act of legislation. This is about a matter that should be at the highest importance to every American — my hair. There’s this salon in Beverly Hills. It’s really fancy and beautiful. It’s impossible to get an appointment — unless you’re Julia Roberts or from “Friends,” you can just forget it. But one day, they called me. They had an opening. So I was going to finally get the chance to sit in one of those sacred beauty chairs. I was so excited. Then the colorist gave me Brassy Brigitte instead of Harlow Honey. The shampoo girl washed my hair with spiral perm solution instead of color-intensive moisturizing shampoo. Finally, the stylist gave me a bob — with bangs. Suffice to say, it was just wrong. All wrong — for me, you know? First I was angry. And then I realized my anger was completely misdirected. This wasn’t the salon’s fault. I had sat there and witnessed this injustice and had let it happen. I didn’t get involved in the process. I forgot to use my voice. I forgot to believe in myself. But now I know better. I know that one honest voice can be louder than a crowd. I know that if we lose our voice or if we let those who speak on our behalf compromise our voice, then this country — this country is in for a really bad haircut. So speak up, America. Speak up! Speak up for the home of the brave. Speak up for the land of the free gift with purchase. Speak up, America! Speak up! And remember — you are beautiful. Thank you.❞

— Elle Woods, Legally Blonde 2